From 1995, a fake newspaper interview I conducted with myself and included with my Christmas cards:
People complain about the crowds in the malls, but there's also something happening there that you don't see any other time: perfect strangers, parents, helping each other find exactly the right Power Ranger or whatever. That just makes my day. Or people that hold the door for me even though they're carrying an armload of packages, even though I'm laughing at them because the top one is about to fall off and clock them in the head. That's what warms my heart.
; "She was so rich she got 2.")
; "Purple")
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